My opinion would be if you have convictions about the non-violence thing, then you should in fact stick to those convictions and explain to him why you don’t believe in him having a toy gun.

I’ve just run across your blog, and I like it so far.  Just thought I’d comment on this one real quick.  I think you pose a good question, and I’m not sure that I have a definitive answer for it.  However, I don’t think I’d have too much of a problem giving in to his request (I have 2 young daughters, so I don’t have to worry about this yet ).

I read Wild at Heart by John Eldredge a while back, and he made the point that boys (men) are given that urge for “combat” by God.  That we’re supposed to be protectors, we’re supposed to be warriors.  Now of course, as we grow, that should apply to us more in a spiritual sense than something strictly physical.  But when you’re 5, you can’t think on that level yet.  You just wanna protect the school marm from the bandits.

Good luck with your decision.  In the end, it might actually be a positive thing for him…

I do not have boys either, but there are 2 that live right across the street....their parents were in the same situation years ago (the littlest one wanted a water gun)....the decided against buying it, so the little boy got a water bottle and drew a gun on it with a Sharpie marker. 

I think that children have such great imaginations that they can create whatever it is that they want to play with even if it is not purchased in a store.....My point is, that Gresham can pretend with a stick and it has the same meaning as if he had a real gun....I believe that purchasing a toy gun (cap, water, etc) is a teaching experience, but I am not an expert, just a mom.

Good Luck.

haha, I’d say get him a sling, but compared to him most adults are probably giants, so that might not go over so well.

We had this situation at our house a few years ago when our oldest was almost 5.  When we found out we were having a boy, i said to my Texas, Air Force hubby, NO GUNS!  If we’re supposed to be kind and not hurt, or kill then why give them a toy that does. . .
Long story short, we never had guns a and didn’t play with anyone who did or watched anything that did and HE STILL TURNED WHATEVER HE COULD FIND INTO ONE!
Now, I don’t know if that means you give up/give in, but good luck!

No gun.  If I wouldn’t have a real one in my house, and I won’t, then why have a pretend one?  Ours is a culture that has deemed guns as socially acceptable weapons, but the fact remains that they’re weapons.  I think a toy gun helps teach pacifism as well as a porn video teaches chastity.  How about toy nooses?  Or toy suicide bombs?  Maybe a game in which you steal from work?  Doesn’t make sense.

And I don’t buy the God-given “urge for “combat.”” That’s garbage.  It’s not even pseudo-scriptural.  Using Eldredge’s methods I could as easily make the argument that God gave men an inner urge for rape and that as long as we understood that we were supposed to spiritualize it into masculine leadership later in life then it’s okay to physicalize it while we’re young.  It could be a good thing!  Give me a break.

This is such a fantastic question. 

How far do you take the non-violence conviction is really the question isn’t it?  Do you still watch movies with violence, do you still play video games with violence, do you still allow your child to have a gun (any kind of gun, water or whatever), do you still pay taxes that heavily support a military nationally and locally support a police force with weapons, on and on....

Anyway, I’ve don’t have kids.  And I don’t know that if I did that I would cheerfully buy a gun for my son.  But I’m also not on the total non-violence train with you.  I play video games with violence and I can watch movies with some violence (though admittedly I’m squeamish--can’t have too much).  I love a good crime novel and they have violence at their heart.  And yet, I feel guilt over killing bugs. (except for roaches) Is there a place for play with guns when you’re little?  I think there might be.  I just don’t know.

I read Elderidge’s book as well, and can recall seeing my friends (when I was 5, not here at work) make guns out of everything - sticks, half-eaten sandwiches, baby sisters (a bazooka), etc. 

We’re expecting our first child in April, and if we have a boy, I imagine my wife and I will discuss this very thing.  I believe I’m on the side of guns being fine for toys- at least until a certain age. 

I know a lot of hunters here in the midwest who take their sons with them once they reach a certain age, so maybe there’s something about teaching boys how to use a real gun that helps them see the difference and learn to appreciate real guns instead of just running around killing everything that moves in a bandana with ketchup smeared all over your face, a la Rambo.

I’m a young husband with no kids, so I don’t really have any solid answers on the “violent toys” question.

But, I thought I’d throw in the question of other weapons (i.e. swords, bows and arrows).

I’m really big Narnia fan, and personally believe that if parents don’t read these books to their children it may qualify as some form of neglect. Seriously.

Narnia is FAR from non-violent. What of that?

I’m a young husband with no kids and I don’t have any solid answers on the “violent toys” question.

But, I thought I’d throw in the question of other weapons (i.e. swords, bows and arrows).

I’m really big Narnia fan, and personally believe that if parents don’t read these books to their children it may qualify as some form of neglect. Seriously.

Narnia is FAR from non-violent though. What of that?

I know a guy who is a world class hunter (took the 4th largest elk in the world a few years ago) and he won’t let his 4 year old daughter play with toy guns because he and his wife don’t want her to think that guns are toys.  Their 4 year old daughter shoots real guns on a regular basis and has even shot her first wild game (a rabbit).  At least for now, they are very strict about the no toy gun rule.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with toy guns given certain rules are followed, even though my son has exposure to real guns as well.  I think kids are capable of learning the difference and distinguishing between the two, even at an early age.  Personally, I’m much more concerned with violent movies and such, since they associate amoral objects with emotions and situations that I’m very uncomfortable with.

Personally, if I had a problem with using guns at all, I wouldn’t let my kids have toy guns.  It sends a double message.  My own views on guns are far more nuanced, and letting my kids play with guns in certain situations but not others will (I hope) communicate that.  Having rural roots and friends and relatives in law enforcement, real and toy guns have been a part of my own life since I was a young child.  I can’t imagine depriving my own child of that experience based on how some knuckleheads who have no connection to my family use firearms.

MB

Narnia is a perfect example!  Also, I was thinking Harry Potter.  There’s violence in these books, yet if I had kids I would definitely want them to read these books and of course they would want to play Narnia or Hogwarts or whatever, just as I played Nancy Drew when I was little. I mean even our own Bible is filled with violence that communicates powerful truth.  Favorite Bible stories for children are David and Goliath.  Daniel and the Lions Den.  Noah’s Ark.  I wonder if kids don’t sort of get the truer meaning of it all when they are playing, sort of like Eldredge suggests.  (I think anyway!  I’ve never read the book)

No gun.  I was raised in Pacifist/Mennonite household and the reasoning behind it is that while as an adult they may may choose another choice for their lives - allowing a child to have a gun or any type of weapon is a simplification of the actual responsibility inherent in a weapon’s use.  Nevermind the reality that there are thousands of child soliders in this world who don’t want to use gun, whom we think it’s wrong are forced to use guns.  But somehow we think it’s alright for our kids to use them because it’s “fun”

Shaun,
What if one of us buys one for him. Like sending a gift at Christmas to a compashaun kid…

I have 7 kids, four of them boys. The important teach here is on “what to do”, not on “what not to do”. Loving your enemies became clear to my oldest son once he understood how when Christ returns justice will be dealt out, severely. It is on that basis that we can give place to wrath, love our enemies, etc. It enabled him to feel mercy and forgiveness toward those who mean and nasty now. Instead of discouraging guns (which at times I’ve tried) I’ve simply encouraged (and attempted to live out) Jesus teachings on how we are to treat others. Because I know many kids who are not allowed to play with guns who are some of the most violent children. Plus, life is a battle, but I want my children to know how to fight the right way, “we wrestle not against flesh and blood...”

My kids have toy guns.  They are not allowed to shoot people with them.  That’s because I always want them to view guns as if they are loaded and as deadly as they can be.  However, they have been known to hunt coyotes and cows. 

We knew someone who let their kids pretend to shoot each other.  It was kind of funny to hear one boy complain that the other one just wouldn’t die.  Mom had to intervene to force younger bro to die.  It was his turn, after all.

We knew someone else who did not allow their children to have toy guns.  They had the same issues that you have.  Those kids turned every pencil, shovel, and “you name it” into a firearm.  I think we heard of one kid chewing a cookie into the shape of a pistol and firing it.

Having been brought up around guns, I always had a healthy respect for the damage that they could do.  The people that I knew who did not have guns in the house NEVER knew how to act when they were around one, which inevitably they were.

Our rule was no pointing them at people… that way it is always pretend.  My brother broke that rule at least once and had his pop gun taken away for months.  We always knew it was something different than a regular toy.

I ask the question. What man growing up as a boy never had a toy gun? My my...... I can remember great times, forts, hide and seek shoot, wild west shootouts - great times! Its got nothing to do with non-violence, I’m not a terrorist, neither are any of my old mates whom I used to engage in my imitation combat exercises.  ha! I’d say, let the boy be a boy! He knows its make believe - Its all healthy and good. Now if he comes home from school with a Glock - then I’d be concerned - but since you homeschool, no worries there.

My favorite German singer/songwriter talks about how he always maintained a ‘weapens-free-zone’ in his kids room and how he would ‘disarm’ the other kids as they entered.

I think it is a great idea not to have any toy guns around. All I had as a kid was some water guns and a transformer that turned into a gun.

I’m the father of a 5 month of old, and while I think it is good that you ask yourself such a question, some of the “absolutely no guns” responses above have got to make me wonder.

As much as it is a cliche, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” is accurate.  People kill with guns, knives, cars, ropes, rocks, broken bottles, and just about any object that you can batter someone with or against.  Are you going to refuse your son toy cars, or teach him how to interact responsibly with cars as he grows?  Guns may be used for good—the defense of freedom and family for one.  Sometimes the most loving and compassionate thing a person can do in a particular circumstance involves guns and killing.

However, I think that appealing to Scripture sheds the greatest light on the topic, at least for the Christian.  Jesus warned his disciples that they should possess a sword (the gun of 1st century).  Soldiers are not urged by Scripture to abandon their duties, but rather to practice justice.  Further, Jesus is going to conquer the antichrist and his minions… and if the birds of the air are going to gorge on flesh, it sounds like it is going to be violent.

There’s just some things that can’t be bought with my two cents.

-Benjamin

I don’t see the problem of letting him have one.  Better he learns to be responsible with a play one than a real one.

I do have a son and he does have play guns.  We taught him all about them and how to be responsible with it (my husband is a hunter) and we have not had any problems whatsoever.  Fortunately, he would whether be outside playing sports.  But the bottom line~ live by your convictions.