08.06.08 I’m A Tremendous Zucchini Farmer With Two Arms At The Moment
My father-in-law planted it and my wife waters it but I wrote the songs that pay for the water and I married the girl who has the father who does the planting so, you can see, obviously, why I call the garden mine. In my garden grows peppers, tomatoes, corn, ochre okra, squash, some herbs of some kind and the largest zucchini in my cul-de-sac and possibly the world. In my garden. Therefore I am a tremendous zucchini farmer.
Some photos to give you some perspective on the size of this zucchini.
The zucchini on a plate with other lesser produce.
The zucchini lounging beside a fifteen inch Macbook Pro.
The zucchini proving it is bigger than a monkey.
And almost bigger than my cat. She’s obese though. The zucchini and I think that should be taken into account.
Also, the zucchini is obviously much larger than the letter “B.”
The zucchini is about the same size as my arm. My left arm. But not my muscled strumming arm (not pictured).
Which would be handy if I ever were to lose an arm. You know, it would be nice to just grow another, just call the father-in-law and buy more water and - presto! - a new arm. That’s useful if I ever lost mine and I wanted a new one and I didn’t want to travel around to churches telling the story of how I lost my arm while standing there in front of the everybody with a new one made out of zucchini. Not sure what I would choose to do if I lost my arm but it’s nice to have options.
I thought the idea of a zucchini arm had merit until halfway through the first round of testing. Even the best zucchini arm, turns out, slows down my typing.
So I think if I lose an arm I’ll fashion a new zucchini arm for myself and I’ll wear that zucchini arm all the time except when I’m touring around telling the inspirational story of how I lost my arm and also when I’m typing. But pretty much the rest of the time my arm will be a zucchini.
Taylor Smith said:
Your desk is much cleaner than mine, as in, you can tell its a desk.
said:
Thank you! I needed a good laugh today!
Adam said:
This was AWESOME..
Your cat didn’t look very happy to have her picture taken with the monster Zuchini that YOU grew in YOUR garden. The picture of you at ur desk is so stinkin funny.. ugh that was the best
Kelly @ Love Well said:
I hate to be a vegetable troll, but that is NOT a monster zucchini.
The first year I had a garden, I grew zucchinis that had to be registered as weapons. They were clubs.
For photographic proof, check out the picture in the middle of this post. It’s a zucchini posing as a passenger in my daughter’s toy car.
RevJeff said:
LOL -
Thanks for brightening WEDNESDAY
Kaye said:
I began giggling when I saw the photo with the cat (what is it about cats that make photos even funnier), but the outright laughter came as the pictures kept rolling. Thank you. I needed this on a Wednesday!
said:
your most inspirational post yet. I bet if you showed this zucchini when you spoke about compassion international more kids would be sponsored.
Jade =) said:
The best part is that the shirt you’re wearing with your new Zucchini arm says “Bummer” as in...it’s a Bummer you lost your arm, but aren’t you darn lucky to have that amazing zucchini to take it’s place? And is that really the way you spell that word anyway? zucchini. It looks odd.
keith said:
Ochre? Ochre what? I know you can name some fruits and veggies after their color, but I’ve never heard of an ochre.
thecachinnator said:
Most. Inspirational. Post. Ev-ar.
keith said:
Looks like a new Halloween costume. It’s crazy zucchini-for-an-arm man. Now give me some candy!
Kaye said:
Yeah, Shaun...it’s not ochre...that is a color. It’s okra. =)
said:
W-wait...is that Shaun Groves or Popeye there with those big muscles?
Too much hair and no anchor tattoo. Must be Shaun.
shaunfan said:
Did you type all the “z’s” in this post for zucchini with your zucchini left arm? What a fun word to type and say(almost as much fun as ochre or okra).
Oh, and congratulations on your farming. We actually just ate our huge zucchini last night. I wish I had taken a picture, I think it was more than 15 inches but we’ll never know now.
Awesome post.
Kristin Zuvich said:
This was ridiculously nutty.
I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone so proud of a zucchini he didn’t plant and didn’t grow himself.
I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone so proud of a zucchini, period.
Haha.
But this post did make my day and make me smile---especially with that picture of your zucchini arm.
said:
hilarious
said:
I told Sophie she had to read this as soon as she got home. Gave me a great laugh.
Darcie said:
This is the most ridiculous things I’ve seen all day. Love it!
said:
Can you say too much “Spongebob?”
Beth
said:
Instead of using it to replace your arm, which you still both, maybe you can use the zucchini to replace your cat’s tale?
anon4him said:
lol! Genius!
Shawn Bashor said:
Your obsession with zucchinis is somewhat disturbing.
Erin said:
you are the funniest man with a zucchini arm I’ve ever known.
please come to Paducah, KY soon. We really want you here but Ben says you won’t come. SHOW US THE LOVE, SHAUN!!!
owlhaven said:
You are making me laugh, which I +very+ much needed today. Will post the picture of our mutant zucchinis on my blog very soon. I think they crossed with the pumpkins.
Mary, mom to many children and grower of many odd zucchinis
Cassidy said:
I am so glad I ran across your blog today! Hilarious!
You sir, are now added to my blogroll because of this post ALONE!
Karen [simply a musing blog} said:
Oh. my. LANTA. Very cute - first time actually commenting on your blog, but I couldn’t resist because I had to tell you my absolute favorite one is the one where you are typing on your mac with the zucchini.
said:
um...i almost lost my life to this post!
i was downing a huge gulp of mountain dew scrolling thru when the zucchini arm came out of nowhere. my big gulp went down the wrong pipe...and my keyboard needs a bath.
too. funny.
owlhaven said:
OK--as promised.
Here are two of the zukes we grew this year. They are odd fellows.
http://www.owlhaven.net/2008/08/07/my-cute-zucchinis/
And here’s a champion from a different year (scroll down for the pix)
http://www.owlhaven.net/2006/09/28/30-days-of-nothing-day-28/
boomama said:
Those last two pictures?
Made my whole day.
said:
I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. I was standing while reading, started laughing, kick a bar stool that was nearby with my bare toes, dropped to floor and continued to laugh.
Michelle said:
LOVE the pictures!! Thanks for the laughs!
Fairings said:
Well, those Zucchinis are huge! Thanks for demonstrating different usages!