02.07.07 Hair No More
I think I have part girl brains.
Becky’s sister, Kathy, cut my hair a couple days ago when she came through town. It’s all gone. Gone. And very very gray. And gone. Real gone.
I personally don’t care all that much what the topiary on top of my dome looks like, but Kathy made me care. She made feel a bit self-consious by asking me three times if I was sure I didn’t want to color it. “Yes,” I said every time, “I don’t want to pay to keep that up.”
The only opinion on the whole looks thing that really should matter to me is Becky’s. (Keep this in mind, by the way, when you come to my shows from here on out and entertain the idea of popping off about how too thin or too gray or too tall or too pale or too whatever you think I am.)
So I say to her, “I’m not sure this haircut thing was such a good idea...and Kathy thinks it would look better if I colored it. Or maybe I should shave...or grow a bigger beard.” And then, after a long pause to prepare for any answer I might receive, I asked, “On a scale of one to I-wanna-rip-your-clothes-off, how do you like it?”
“I like it,” she said.
“You mean you wanna rip my clothes off,” I elaborated.
“Yes,” she said, straight-faced, staring at tax forms and never even looking up. “When I look at your hair. I want. To rip. Your clothes off. It’s all I can think about.”
Those words, minus the obvious sarcasm, plus a little more inflection and maybe even some eye contact, and I’m good. Men are simple. The sages Cheap Trick summed up every man’s desire in one line: “I want you to want me.”
said:
Part girl brains???? Because you care what you look like? Boys SHOULD care what they look like… *hard little glare at my coworker with nosehairs long enough to braid*
I myself look like an aging, nearly albino Little Orphan Annie who’s had a couple too many Krispy Kremes. So I KNOW funny looking--it stares me in the mirror.
So let’s see a picture of this new ‘do of yours, mister.
said:
Hey, Nancy! That’s what I look like too, only my hair isn’t curly. ; ) And I agree, we need to see a picture of this new ‘do.
Mark said:
I want a picture, too.
said:
Oh no!! You hate it don’t you?! You hate it! You hate it you hate it! Now I hate myself.
And yes you should color it.
ally simpson said:
lets see the “no hair” dude.................cant be that bad!! and man dont dye it, thats a sucky idea
said:
Kathy, every haircut he’s attributed to you has looked really good.
What do you think about that Just For Men five minute at home stuff? If I could catch Taylor Hicks (not that I’m tempted to run after Taylor Hicks), I’d throw some in his hair.
Shaun Groves said:
No, Kathy I actually like it now...a lot. No more sweeping hair out of my eyes. But you have to admit it’s quite a change. Took some getting used to.
And you are the only one I trust to make such a big change.
Brody Harper said:
I’m the furthest thing from gay… but you are hot.
said:
was kathy the author of the years of anti-grav hair? there was color involved with that at some point, yes?
facts: you are thin. and tall. and pale. but not too much of any of them.
thin and tall have been unachievable goals in my life. apparently gray just happens by itself- i’m achieving that even without it ever being a goal.
and i cannot help liking most songs with talk boxes, even Cheap Trick ones.
Shaun Groves said:
Yes, she was. And yes, there was.
And yes, talk boxes are rad. And yes, I just said, “rad.”
said:
When we saw Peter Frampton at the Ryman, Steven almost fell over the balcony railing laughing when I yelled “Do the thing!” as the band launched into “Show Me The Way.” “Use the talk box” just sounded stuffy.
Waitaminnute… Frampton’s hair was short and definitely gray-- and he was still hot. You may actually be on to something. Dude, get a talk box.
said:
I’ve seen Peter Frampton use the talk box, and they are rad. (Man, I’m old!). Paid a whopping $7.50 (yes, the decimal’s in the right place!) to sit on the front row of that concert with Tim Curry opening (can anyone say RHPS). One of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.
Shaun, you are tall and skinny and pale and that’s OK. Any different and you wouldn’t be you. As for the grey, it happens to the best of us, trust me. Herbal Essence works well. Pale could possibly be fixed on the cruise in April if you will change that rule of yours about “never wearing shorts.” You’re going to look dorky in pants on a Caribbean cruise. Especially with a long sleeve shirt. Live a little! Be brave, bold and daring! Buy, and wear some shorts to go along with your new ‘do.
Beth
Shaun Groves said:
If Target has a sale and you don’t bring a camera, I just might.
Steven said:
It takes special men to don the hairless (or little hair) look and pull it off.
john said:
Shaun cuts his hair off, and I am growing mine out. I guess the US isn’t the only place having a cold snap.
said:
A camera? On a cruise? Why would I do that? You can trust me!
Beth
Andrew said:
Dude, I think you need to get some of those velcro pants we were talking about earlier! Then it would make it so much easier for her to rip off!!!
Now THAT would be RAD!
said:
Yes on talk box.
No on shorts. AL support that rule.
Graying hair pales in relative importance.