08.18.08 All You Want Me To Be

By Saturday night I’d given up on him.  I love him, but he’s been an addict for years, verbally and physically abusive, his example twisting the meaning of words like “father” and “love” in the mind of his children.  We can only hear “sorry” so many times: Forgiveness is perpetual but belief in the miracle of change is limited.

Then, Sunday night, 160 men and women who’ve been where he is (and worse) sang a song.

And I believe again.

Let me clarify though - this is important I think: Loving an addict, I think, doesn’t require letting an addict hurt you or his children.  I still believe there may very well come a point at which those who love an addict must leave him - a point at which loving is leaving - a time to “flee from evil” in order to protect the innocent.  I don’t have any hard rules on any of this - real life is messier and more complex than any of the rules we may make before a storm like this hits us.

But (today) I also believe that an addict can be changed by God - with us or without us. What kind of puny God do I sing to every weekend if I don’t believe this?  I don’t have a clue how healing happens, how it starts, or what role if any the healthy people in an addict’s life play in the process.  I just don’t know.  But it’s progress for me to simply believe it happens.

I know it happens because I sang with 160 people it’s happening to.

To find a Teen Challenge in your area visit http://www.teenchallengeusa.com Teen Challenge is a faith-based residential faith-based recovery program for addicts of all ages.

I’m not allowing comments on this post - it’s too personal.  But if you have a personal story of recovery, please share it with at shaunfanmail AT bellsouth.net.  I’m not at the point, to be honest, that I can receive and appreciate advice from people who haven’t lived through addiction or loving an addict personally.  So please, don’t offer me any.  I’m most interested in hearing from addicts and those who love them, hearing your hurts and praying for you, hearing success stories of addictions beaten and how that happened.  Please, if you have a story like that, share it with me.  I need to hear it right now.