My body was in Ohio tonight, on the stage of Seeker’s Coffeehouse, belting out tunes and cracking jokes for a full house of fans. But my heart and mind were miles away standing helplessly by, unable to rescue people I love from the pain of betrayal and the fantasies formed by addiction.
Two friends of mine, married with children, are fighting tonight to save a life and marriage and to do so while staying true to the teachings of Christ. Two days ago she called and tearfully told me the story of her husband’s false remission and repentance from drug and alcohol abuse. “He never stopped,” she said.
I wrote the song “I Love You” from the CD Twilight for this friend when I thought he was on the mend, when his biggest hurdle seemed to be convincing himself God and God’s people still cared, still forgave and loved.
You’re embarrassed and ashamed I can tell
Living in your hand-made hell
Well that’s a place I know too well
I do
And I love you
I love you
I love you
And those words are still true but harder to say tonight. Tonight I didn’t want to represent God to anyone. I didn’t want to play music about Jesus or talk about Him because I’m angry and hurt. I don’t have fancier bigger language for how I feel. I’m at a loss for poetry right now. I’m ticked. I’m sad.
We all thought the addiction had been beaten but it’s not only back, it was never gone at all. And now we know the truth and instead of freeing it’s holding us captive to emotions that tether us to our perspective and make it impossible to see a way out of this conflict and hurt.
So I’m here, helpless, in a Comfort Inn, feeling anything but comfortable. Tonight was a blur of faked emotion and forced after show conversation. And I’m just glad it’s over. It feels gross to have sung things tonight that I didn’t fully trust in. And I feel weak for letting anything, even this, undermine that trust. But the show’s over and tomorrow’s another one so it’s off to bed and an early flight out in the morning. But first I guess I should spend some time doing the one thing I can do for my friends - pray, even though I don’t feel like it and don’t know where to begin. And I beg you to do the same. You don’t need names. Just pray for these people I love.
Thanks,
Shaun
Suzie and I first met four years ago on Bebo Norman’s tour bus. It was my first time on the road and my first time to learn about the relationship between artists and Compassion International. Since that time we’ve continued to bump into each other on the road and here in Nashville, getting to know each other better and better with each much-too-short conversation. Today we sat down to finalize the details of my partnership with Compassion, finally committed to after all this time, and to celebrate.
Loving the least as a means of loving the Most High has been a constant theme in my music and my life for years. And so I’ve searched for someone, some larger entity with integrity, I could direct people feeling the urge to “do something” towards when they e-mailed or approached me after shows. I’ve tried directing people willing to give or serve back to their own church - the ideal place to partner with in showing mercy. But so many of my “fans” are twenty-somethings or college students with little or no connection to a local church. So that direction from me was often met with “Well, I haven’t really found a church I like yet.” Sparing them a lecture about the ideal church not necessarily being one they would “like” all the time, I scratched my head and searched on for someone who could put feet and hands on their desire to help others.
I tried other way of connecting people to service opportunities but none worked or were attached to the local church. That’s a deal breaker for me. I believe God the only group God has entrusted the least to is His Church and the local church community can do more at deeper more eternal levels than any government program, institution or individual can.
So for the last several months I’ve had no one to hand the willing workers in my crowds over to, no one to turn their zeal for the lowest into practical provision through a church community.
Then Suzie bumped into me again and started talking about a partnership, something I’d not thought about in a long time. I visited their headquarters in Colorado, asked lots and lots of questions and even had lunch with members of their staff at GMA week in Nashville a few weeks later, including their founder. I learned a ton, including that Compassion works through the local church. Individuals or groups here in America help the Church in needy areas of the world help their own. the Church does the work and Compassion assists. I became convinced when I learned this that Compassion and I had the same priorities and goals in mind.
Compassion has an amazing program in place but a constant stream of givers is needed to keep it in motion. So I’ve committed to helping sustain that stream by promoting Compassion International’s child sponsorship program at my concerts this Fall. And we’ll soon take a trip to Salvador together as well (if all works out), so I can witness first hand what Compassion looks like in the field and exactly how the money given by sponsors helps children escape poverty, and even better, displays the love of Christ and makes known the character of God.
If you’d like to join us in this work TODAY by sponsoring a child, supplying his/her basic needs, you can click on the banner at the top of this post.
I could use your help. WHITE FLAG (my new CD) comes out July 12th and so we’re hitting the road with a band, lights, video, dancing midgets, stone hinge replica, and the whole soft-rock extravaganza that week to celebrate with the cities that have been the kindest to us the last four years. If you live in one of these great cities, or know someone who does, I’m asking, actually begging, you to download the e-card below for that city (by clicking on the link) and send it as an e-mail attachment to everyone you know within driving distance of that show. Thanks for your help.
JULY 11th in Boca Raton, FL (no band, only solo show)
JULY 12th in NASHVILLE, TN
JULY 13th in MANSFIELD, TX (DALLAS)
JULY 14th in BROKEN ARROW, OK (TULSA)
JULY 15th in TYLER, TX
JULY 16th in CORPUS CHRISTI, TX
JULY 17th in SUGAR LAND, TX (HOUSTON)
TECHNICAL STEP BY STEP:
*PC USERS*
1. Click on a link above, the e-card should fill your browser window, then right click the e-card, a menu will appear, choose “save file (or image) to disk.”
2. Attach the file or image to an e-mail, address it and hit send.
*MAC USERS*
1. Press the “ctrl” (or control) key while clicking once on a link above, a menu will appear, choose “save linked file”,
OR click the link above, it should fill your browser window, then ctrl click the image, a menu should appear, choose “save image”
2. Attach the file or image to an e-mail, address it and hit send.
Thanks again,
Shaun
I visited GMA (Gospel Music Association) headquarters this morning. We gathered around a conference table strewn with napkins and Krispy Kreams just before 9AM. The staff, newly de-eye-crusted and caffeinated, sat amazingly awake and friendly for so early in the morning as I walked through the beatitudes with them. I gave them something between a mini-concert, a sermon, a morning devotion and a friendly casual conversation. I’m not sure if I was asked or if someone at Rocketown did the asking but I’m glad the asking got done. It was good to finally meet the people who give us artists the bird.
The bird of course is a bronze statuette, a dove in flight, handed to the artists and other creative types each year at the Dove Awards - our equivalent to the Grammy. I even got to hold a Dove Award this morning, given in the category of best background noise to eat donuts by I think.
But Doves aren’t all the folks at the GMA do for you and the industry. Here are some quick links to their other endeavors and services:
Music piracy prevention and education
Contests and classes for musicians
Re-emphasizing service in the life of the artist who is Christian
Conferences and events like Seminar in the Rockies (I’ll be teaching and singing there this year)
Providing spiritual growth opportunities
Providing professional growth opportunities.
Basically, if all you know about the GMA is that they give out little faux metal foul, well, you could be missing out on something helpful or just plain interesting.
Thanks to everyone at the GMA for feeding me and listening to me this morning. It went a long way toward removing the pain of losing the seven Dove Awards your members nominated me for once upon a time.
Dear Apple Computer, Inc.,
I’m sorry.
See, I’m trying to break the strangle hold caffeine, in the form of Dr.Pepper, has on my life. I read once that it’s addictive powers are equal to that of heroine - or maybe that was price or something. Anyway, my judgment is twitching and glitching from some sort of withdrawal syndrome I’m sure will pass. I’m not making excuses as much as I am explaining the science, the possible biological misfire, behind my last bit of correspondence to you.
You can understand how a computer, especially a laptop perched and purring upon one’s lap for so many years day after day, can begin to feel like, well, a friend. Can’t you? So maybe I got a little emotional, the lines between reality and Dr.Pepper deprivation induced fantasy got a little blurred. I got caught up in the loss of a loved one I now am ready to admit is just a laptop - but a dang good laptop vital to my work and well-being.
Forgive me. No hard feelings alright?
After I wrote you I felt bad. I felt like I had wounded deity in some way. You’re the guys who slayed the gray box of my childhood with the technicolor iMac of my college days and loosed the chains on my music with the liberating iPod. You’ve done more for artsy fartsy folks like me than Bill Gates ever could. How could I have let my little momentary disappointments come between us like that? Again, I’m sorry.
I was so sorry that I went ahead and called you up again asking for a brown box. It arrived, I put my COMPUTER (not friend) inside for a quick ride to Apple Heaven where your geniuses replaced just about everything in it, buffed the scratches from it’s screen just for the love of it and whooshed it right back to me in 48 hours.
It arrived today, sparkly and faster than ever.
Sure I hate that it broke so many times, in the same way, over and over and over again. That sucks. But at least I’m not stuck with a beige, ugly, always-crashing, slow, symbol of corporate conformity, style-lacking, Microsoft-dependent, innovationless, virus-laden, spyware-riddled, sorry excuse for a computer on my lap tonight. That would suck different. It would suck in a way I could bear about as much as losing a loved one without the aid of caffeine to numb my pain.
So thanks Apple for sending my iBook back in working order again. And please accept my sincerest apologies for ever doubting your love for me or my little...laptop.
Your repentant friend, customer, fan and regional Mac Mormon,
Shaun Groves
P.S. If you happen to stumble onto a replacement for my elderly iBook just lying around Steve’s pad someday I wouldn’t refuse it of course. That address again is:
PO Box 680055
Franklin, TN 37068
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