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Kristen, I’m praying for your friend. It is SO hard to see somebody you love and who had such an easygoing personality going through such violent pain.
Cutting and similar kinds of self-injury like scratching yourself or picking at your skin over and over until you bleed is an unhealthy way that people use to deal with bad things that are going on in their lives, like abuse or depression or as a way of coping with very strong emotions. They find that burning or cutting themselves or scratching to the point of drawing blood is a temporary release for the surges of emotional pain they feel. But for most people who self-injure, not long after they feel the emotional release from hurting themselves, that relief is replaced by guilt and shame. They know that’s not the way they’re supposed to handle their pain and they’re embarrassed by the scars and scabs on their bodies. I know people who have struggled with cutting and people who have struggled with bulemia and they both seem to be very similar with their emotional buildup/cut or purge to relieve the emotions/guilt afterward cycle.
If anybody reading this is struggling with cutting or knows somebody who is, here is a good website that explains more about the whys behind cutting and has some really helpful tips to help people who are cutting, stop the habit.
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/problems/resisting_cutting.html
Cutting has gotten to be curiously popular among the middle and high school crowd, with people who are not actually suffering the deep wounds of abuse or severe depression. People see it as something that’s dramatic and forbidden, so that makes it an attractive way to get attention. The problem with that aside from the obvious scarring that they’ll regret when they get older, is that cutting can become a compulsive behavior and really hard to stop.
Kristen, I love the way you love your friend. Keep praying. And keep listening and encouraging him to find healthier ways of working through his pain, like talking to friends and adults he trusts, writing about his feelings, and burning off some of the energy behind the cutting with exercise instead. I’m praying that if he isn’t a Christian already, that this dark period in your friend’s life would be the time when he’d realize that Jesus can not only save him from this pain over the short haul, but can be his savior and protector, forever.
Could you keep us updated on how your friend’s doing? I’m planning to keep praying.
Thanks,
nancy
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