Shlog Section-f

It took four days but I finally got someone to fess up for the slimy plastic iguana that they put in my lunch last week. 
I like it!  They’re not getting it back.

What horrible or funny things do you do to your coworkers/your coworkers do to you?

n

It is very typical for new airmen arriving at a new duty stationed to be “indoctrinated” properly.  Here’s a couple of good ones:

1.  A young man, newly arrived at his first duty location after completion of technical school, and ready to impress his supervisor was asked to run a very important errand.  Someone had recently borrowed the squadron’s pallet stretcher and failed to return it.  This airman was sent to retrieve the missing piece of equipment and told not to return until he’d gotten it.  He spent a couple of hours running around frantically to no avail.  It took awhile before he finally realized that there is no such thing as a pallet stretcher!  How would one stretch wooden pallets?

2.  Next, military cops are notorious for pranks.  Gate duty is extremely boring and mundane so anything to provide a bit of relief if always welcome.  Prank calls are common and almost expected.  One day a cop on gate duty received a call from a Major General stating that his little old grayhaired mother was expected to come through the gate at a certain time that day and she was to be waived through without delay.  Thinking that this was indeed another prank, the cop was very quick to tell this general that he would make sure his mother was strip searched, etc.  When the irate general asked the cops’ name, he replied “Captain Crunch.” His smile quickly faded however when he heard the sirens approaching the gate moments later.  His squadron commander was in a police vehicle with the very angry Major General.  His commander directed traffic through the gate while the general chewed this airman out using every explitive in the book!  “Captain Crunch” had gate duty for many, many days and nights following to say the least.

Beth

Around here at work the usual prank is exchanging a person’s chair with a broken chair that gives away when you sit one it.  The other joke is messing with a person’s computer by changing their screen saver so a message will scroll across it.

However a joke was played on me recently.  It was not a very nice joke either.  About six weeks ago the owner called a meeting for all the department managers.  In this meeting the managers were told they were suppose to make cuts in their departments i.e. lay off a person or two.  They were suppose to meet back with the owner and let him know how they were going to make the cuts and who was being let go.  After my boss had his meeting with the owner, he looked at me from his office and said “Thomas, we might as well get this over with now”.  As I began heading to his office thinking that I was being let go, he began to laugh. He thought it might be funny making me think that I was being fired in front of all my co-workers.  Ha Ha. Funny Funny.

Thomas

No, Thomas, that isn’t very funny. 

I have a co-worker that hasn’t had a REAL vacation in the four years she’s worked here.  She’s taken days off, but hasn’t gone anywhere fun.  This week, she is in Gatlinburg, TN with some girlfriends.  BUT, Friday afternoon, just before the end of the work day, I called her at the satellite office where she works on Fridays to tell her that our boss from corporate was coming to town Monday and Tuesday, and he had asked me to call her and tell her she couldn’t begin her vacation until Wednesday because he had important details to discuss with the entire staff.  I went on to tell her that I had explained to our boss that she hadn’t had a vacation in years, but that he didn’t care, he wanted every staff member present.  I was very serious and apologetic in my tone.  She didn’t say anything for a long minute, and neither did I.  Then she said, “Is this some kind of joke?” I said, “Yes, yes it is.” She said something about wringing my neck when gets back from vacation....  We had a good laugh, I was really just calling to tell her to have a good time. 

Just the other day at work, my friend Scott had asked me to go to the break room to get him some cough drops. So I did and found something nasty and sticky on the door. I went back to the server line, gave him the cough drop and went to wash my hands.  Scott gave me an evil little smile and asked if I got my hand on something sticky.  “Scott, what did you put on the door?” scott: “oh just some syrup and hand sanitizer mix”

Ewwwwwwwwww! 

Ok, wanna get him?  Rip out a bunch of those perfume sample cards from women’s magazines and slip them here and there on his desk.  Just before he comes in, rub some all over his chair, tape a piece of one under the mouthpiece on his phone.  If he has an older computer monitor (not a flat panel) you can put one behind the monitor and when it heats up, sweeeeet! 

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Once, a coworker said he didn’t know what ubiquitous meant.  So before he came in, another coworker and I photocopied in various sizes about fifty pictures of our boss--a scary looking picture. We cut her image out like paper dolls and taped them everywhere on his desk, in his desk drawers, inside a spare pair of shoes.  Everywhere = ubiquitous.  He never forgot.

i work in a bob evans resteraunt.. that might be a little difficult but i’m sure i could find someway to do that.